I’ll need to stop crying.
I can barely see.
This is the deal now:
I have friends. I have an amazing sister, there’s Mira and Mystrea who I love with my whole heart, there’s Mesi, who is really nice and lovely although we only met once and we don’t know each other that well.
There’s Lara, that sweetheart Lara who deserves much more love than I give her. And Kamila! Who is like my bestest friend and Lea, who IS in fact I think my best friend… and many. many. more. In the last couple of days they have all expressed their concern and love for me and I still feel alone.
I don’t feel like talking to or meeting people but I feel fuckin’ lonely and when people come and say “I’m here for you, I love you, you can talk to me anytime you want” I just don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say! That I feel alone? Yes, I do feel alone, but WHY when there are these amazing people around me? WHY?
I just don’t feel like . I just don’t know what’s wrong. I’m sitting here, crying and I. Have. No. Idea. Why!
EVERYTHING is wrong. EVERYTHING!!
I try to study and I can’t cause I don’t understand anything, I can’t concentrate! I sit above my books for hours and I just feel like collapsing. Then I listen to music and it doesn’t feel good. I can’t sleep, I never feel hungry, I can’t find anything to keep me occupied. I don’t even try to do creative things, cause I know I wouldn’t finish them. I wake up. Do something. And go to bed again.
I don’t feel like days matter.
I want someone to hug me. Just a good hug, that’s all I need.
And a reason to live.
LOL, HOW DEEP I AM.
Lol, look, I’m a suffering teenager feeling neglected and left out looking for life-purpose!
There goes my fuckin’ originality.
